Is Dating Going To Kill Me?
Avoiding a primal dom
After my divorce and the disastrous experiences with having a dom, I tried to date monogamous and vanilla for a little over a year. After failing miserably, I’ve come to my senses and accepted that my preference for sex is of the kinky variety, and I want to date men who will beat me until I am black and blue. But at this point, I also fear that I will never meet a good kinky man or that one will eventually kill me.
I am amazed that I survived my twenties without being cut up into tiny pieces and put in someone's freezer. My dangerous dates were few and far between, but I let men do things to me that could have escalated, and no one knew where I was or what I was doing.
The best piece of advice I have ever gotten about dating, in general, is to say NO and say it often and early. In my twenties, I would give away handfuls of yes at the start of the relationship and bend myself into who I thought this potential mate could want.
As much as it makes me uncomfortable in my forties, I try not to bend myself into a human pretzel and say no. It’s always eye-opening to say no to a man, but it was earth-shattering with a Dom that I matched with recently. He was self-identified as primal Dom- and had a line about how he liked to hunt his prey. Primalness isn’t really my thing, but I figured he could be…
