Losing my Lesbian Card
More failing at dating over forty
“What sports teams do you follow?”
“I don’t follow sports,” I text back to the woman I had matched with on a dating app.
“Has anyone taken away your lesbian card yet?” She text back.
“Not yet.” I didn’t know what to say back to that, and the next time I logged back onto the app to try to respond, she had unmatched me.
Despite identifying as straight for most of my life, I have given up on dating cis men. I am late to realize I am queer, so as limited as my experience is in dating, my experience in dating women is even more limited. I feel a bit like I am entering a land in which I do not have a passport for and don’t speak the language.
I’ve matched with a ton of women, but very few matches have led to anything. And none of them have led to more than two dates.
It occurred to me that I was approaching dating women the way I had with men. I was acting submissive, waiting for them to show their interest and ask me out. I tried flipping my understanding of dating and started asking women I was interested in if they wanted to meet for coffee. Some would say yes but then un-match with me later. Some said they wanted to talk on the phone first and then later un-match me, and some would instantly un-match me.
